‘If You Bring Me A Baby Shower Gift, Please Do Not Expect A Thank-You Letter’: Mom Urges Gift-Givers To Accept Verbal Thank Yous, ‘We Have So Many Other Things To Worry About And You Need To Be Okay With That’

Look, I am so grateful for the baby shower gift you gave me. That was very thoughtful of you. I appreciate the time that you spent buying my gift and I am so grateful that I have you in my life.

But, please, take my in-person “thank you” as a sufficient thank you. I do not have time to write you a thank you letter. If you bring me a gift and you expect me to write a thank-you letter please just don’t bring me a gift. I don’t mean to sound rude, or ungrateful, I am just a tired mother.

I am not pregnant at the moment but in the past, I have had felt the obligation to write baby shower thank you cards and it is the worst. Why do people want a thank you card anyway? Do you really want the pregnant, sick, tired, and overwhelmed woman to hand-write a whole bunch of letters and then send them off just so you can feel good about yourself? Just let the mom sleep. Trust me, she is very grateful for your gift. She is happy that you thought about her and she understands how lucky she is to have you in her life. Let it go and let her sleep.

When I was pregnant with my second boy my mother threw me a diaper shower. I already had one other boy and so I didn’t need a lot of clothes, or other baby supplies. Everybody who came was supposed to bring a box of diapers. Obviously, if they didn’t want to bring a box of diapers they were still welcome to come and hang out and enjoy the party. We had tons of food, and we were just going to have fun talking with each other. It was a very low-key diaper shower and I was enjoying my time with friends and family.

I didn’t keep track of who brought diapers because everybody who came basically brought diapers and I said “thank you” to each guest who handed me a box. A few weeks later I had a woman approach me in church. She asked me if I knew where she lived. I told her I did know where she lived. And then she went on to tell me her address. She thought since she hadn’t received a thank you letter yet it was because I didn’t have the right address or it got somehow got lost in the mail.

Was she just anxiously waiting by the mailbox every day for my letter telling her that I liked the diapers she gave me? It’s not like there was going to be money in the envelope. If you are going to give a pregnant woman a gift please do not expect a thank you letter. She has so many other things that she is going to be worrying about and you need to just be okay with that or don’t get her a gift. I have received a lot of mean messages after this post. I am a good mother, a good woman, and a good person. Nobody ever deserves to get hate messages from people telling her she “doesn’t deserve friends.”

I want to tell you that I have had four baby showers and I have given “thank-you” notes to every single one of the people who brought me gifts.

All my notes were given by hand and were hand-written. I had a tough time giving notes to people with diapers because they were supposed to put the diapers in the corner and I just did a mass “thank-you” and even told everybody that I wouldn’t be able to remember who gave me them.

This is a friendly reminder, please don’t send hate messages to women who don’t agree with you. I was pretty shaken up by a message I just received. All I meant by this article was you should never give a gift just for a thank you card. However, I really do give thank you cards. It was supposed to spark debate.

This article was originally published on the babygaga.com and written by NICOLE CHRISTENSEN.

Follow NICOLE CHRISTENSEN on Instagram and blog.


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